This is my story

It was a good few years ago when I was put into a Secure Hospital.

I had lots of behavior problems and anger issues. They put me on lots of medication. I didn’t know what they were or how they would affect me.

I didn’t have a clue about side effects or anything. I felt I was just put on lots of tablets to shut me up and for me to calm down.

I was left Zombified most of the time; I was dribbling and rocking in a chair, I couldn’t walk and talk too well and I felt stiff.

There were times when I was left pinned down on the floor with the doctors injecting me. They used force on me and restrained me quite a bit. I had been diagnosed with schizophrenia, BPD and self-harm problems. I was pulled and pushed about from the staff. Lots felt like I was a piece of elastic one day…I collapsed from exhaustion and light headedness. The nurses put me to bed and left me there for a long time with no food and drink. When I was eventually allowed out of my room I was starving and so hungry but instead of eating I had to get every thing sorted out for a transfer to another hospital.

I was put on a section and had to be followed everywhere because of my safety. I was even followed to the toilet and was watched while I got dressed and showered. This all went on for lots of years. I felt ashamed and nervous because I had loads of cuts and burns from the self-harm I did to myself. I felt at times I was being laughed at because of the big grins on their faces and sometimes I had a male nurse in with me; this was terrible.

Most doctors seem to give medication to people because they feel that it helps. I would rather have been talked to and looked at other ways and means that I could express my anger but there was nothing. The communication wasn’t good.

I wish I knew about STOMP then; it might have helped me to speak up about over medicating.

I’ve learnt so much about STOMP now. I can use it to help other people who are being put in the same situation as me and to gain awareness about over medicating people.

Medication isn’t always the answer - it helps but the work has to come from the person too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2koZfe9Q4EU

Hayley’s poem was written from all the pledges that people made at the STOMP event in November. People made pledges on post-it notes. Hayley took the post-its into another room and had an hour to make up a poem using all of the pledges people made. Hayley loves poetry and enjoyed the challenge!