This is my story

It was a good few years ago when I was put into a Secure Hospital.

I had lots of behavior problems and anger issues. They put me on lots of medication. I didn’t know what they were or how they would affect me.

I didn’t have a clue about side effects or anything. I felt I was just put on lots of tablets to shut me up and for me to calm down.

I was left Zombified most of the time; I was dribbling and rocking in a chair, I couldn’t walk and talk too well and I felt stiff.

There were times when I was left pinned down on the floor with the doctors injecting me. They used force on me and restrained me quite a bit. I had been diagnosed with schizophrenia, BPD and self-harm problems. I was pulled and pushed about from the staff. Lots felt like I was a piece of elastic one day…I collapsed from exhaustion and light headedness. The nurses put me to bed and left me there for a long time with no food and drink. When I was eventually allowed out of my room I was starving and so hungry but instead of eating I had to get every thing sorted out for a transfer to another hospital.

I was put on a section and had to be followed everywhere because of my safety. I was even followed to the toilet and was watched while I got dressed and showered. This all went on for lots of years. I felt ashamed and nervous because I had loads of cuts and burns from the self-harm I did to myself. I felt at times I was being laughed at because of the big grins on their faces and sometimes I had a male nurse in with me; this was terrible.

Most doctors seem to give medication to people because they feel that it helps. I would rather have been talked to and looked at other ways and means that I could express my anger but there was nothing. The communication wasn’t good.

I wish I knew about STOMP then; it might have helped me to speak up about over medicating.

I’ve learnt so much about STOMP now. I can use it to help other people who are being put in the same situation as me and to gain awareness about over medicating people.

Medication isn’t always the answer - it helps but the work has to come from the person too.

Hayley’s poem was written from all the pledges that people made at the STOMP event in November. People made pledges on post-it notes. Hayley took the post-its into another room and had an hour to make up a poem using all of the pledges people made. Hayley loves poetry and enjoyed the challenge!